Post 100

[mmerriam]

When I realized that this would be my 100th post I felt a bit of pressure. I should say something witty, or important. I can't just let post number 100 be a silly meme or some other trivial thing.

So I decided to talk about being on Live Journal. It seems reasonable after all to discuss what the little service had done for me, and it has done a lot.

First, it has given me a place to talk to people, without actually standing in front of a real human being. This has been helpful, because I tend to freeze up around new people. I can't help it, I'm painfully shy and awkward around people I've just met. In a weird way, LJ has helped me work on getting past that. By giving me a safe place to talk to people I'm interested in, it builds confidence in my own abilities to interact with people in the real world. This has helped me interact with people who I meet at, for example, Conventions. Other writers, editors, members of fandom, I want to get to know these folks, but I've always been so nervous and awkward and unsure. While I'm still quiet, I at least feel moderately comfortable in social settings again, most notable to me being the Twin Cities Speculative Fiction Writers Meetup, where I feel very comfortable talking to everyone. I'm still low-keyed in person, but I'm less of a wallflower.

Live Journal has also given me a good place to let people in my life know what is going on. My far away family can read up on my journal and see that I'm still alive. People can see how I'm dealing with the vision loss. They can read about our vacations and conventions. They can follow along as I try to wring a novel out of my system. Then, when I really do talk to them for real, the conversation can be more targeted, at least in what they want to know about what's going on with me.

Finally, LJ has been a good place for me to write down what's in my head (not unlike what I'm doing right this minute) and then sort through it.

So tell me, what has LJ done for you? Has it changed something about you? Made your life better? Sucked up too much of your precious time?

In news of the Michael, 600 words on Novel A, and some scene sketches today. Not too shabby, but I would have liked more. Wrote another 400 words on the short story Jenny's Magic and started getting ready to send four short piece out next week.

I still can't get the new laptop online. Even though there is a Nic card in the box, the ISP software refuses to recognize it. I think I might have an IRQ conflict somewhere.

Made a nice dinner of Alaskan Pollack baked with lemon pepper and garlic, shrimp scampi, penne rigate smothered in creamy pesto sauce, and garlic bread. I suspect that the reason careswen doesn't really want me going back to work is because when I'm home I cook more elaborate meals for no special reason. She's gotten use to having a cabana boy, err, I mean house husband, around to handle all those dreary domestic chores, which I like doing. Yes, that's right gentlemen, I enjoy doing housework.

So, there you have it, post number one hundred.

In Deep Peace
Michael

Comments

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Livejournal is a bit of a struggle because of my schedule, but the payoff is the chance to glimpse others' lives, thoughts, interests, and places in the world. I adore postings that give me a window into Australia, say, or the east coast at winter (we not getting any winter) or how people responded to a book I just read.

So I have to continue struggling to find a way to balance all the day's doings, but so far at least it seems to be well worth the effort.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

It is a struggle to balance reading LJ with working and writing, but yeah, getting those little looks into the lives of others makes it worth the work to balance my time. It also reminds me that I'm not sitting here in Minnesota writing in a vacuum, that there are others out there going through the same things I am.

[boy-pastiche.livejournal.com]

"So tell me, what has LJ done for you? Has it changed something about you? Made your life better? Sucked up too much of your precious time?"

yes. I've gotten to know a lot of people that I didn't know well, better, giving me a taste of their true colors. Some for the better, some for the worse. It has given me the chance to learn more about the politics, religion, and culture around me. It has also got me into trouble with time, because it's one of my favorite ways to express my addiction to the internet (Yes I am a net addict, I literally fiend for it. Sad but true, partly because I, like you, have social anxiety issues. I know. Big surprise.)

[damncutekitty.livejournal.com]

You have social anxiety issues? But you're so outgoing and charismatic. I assumed it came naturally.

[boy-pastiche.livejournal.com]

*pff* more like "Look! See? I'm not afraid! Really! I'm a shiny star and you all love me!"

If you've noticed, I kinda "perform" when in large social situations. This puts me on a stage, at a distance from my audience (the rest of the group). I get approval without the scary intimacy. It's something I am working on dismantling and rebuilding into healthier patterns.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I understand exactly where you're coming from. On those occasions when I must interact with people and cannot be a quiet little church mouse, (like office parties, or when I sit a panel at a convention) then I switch into perfomance mode. I actually was once an occasional stage actor many years ago, and I call on those skills to get me through those situations.

While it is a useful tool to have in the box, like you said, it can also be a crutch to avoid scary intimate situations, so I try not to pull that tool out too often anymore.

[boy-pastiche.livejournal.com]

As was I. It's where I got the skill. Good Skill for stage performance and leading meetings. Not so good for making friends, for sometimes the person I wish to impress is turned off by the glitz. heh.

[careswen.livejournal.com]

But those of us who sorta get where the glitz is coming from find it somewhat endearing. :-)

[boy-pastiche.livejournal.com]

*smiles and blushes* Sssenkyou Careswen. *huuugs* but I still wanna do better :P

[valks.livejournal.com]

I have used this forum to keep loose tabs on old friends/acqaintances, as well as spilling out whatever issue or idea or activity is going on with me. It's comforting to know that even though no one has time to call or snail mail, you can hop online and get a sense of what's going on with people, and sometimes it enables people to come visit if they happening to be traveling someplace nearby.

As soon as I feel comfortable reading posts at work I might branch out into undiscovered LJ land, but my current system fits my needs at the moment.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I really think one of the great things about LJ is being able to keep up with old friends who have moved far away.