The Journal of Michael Merriam

Preparations for the trip to Oklahoma started today. Tomorrow will be packing and riding and flying and riding some more and arriving in Weatherford sometime around between one and two in the morning. Tomorrow promises to be a Very Long Day indeed.

The Reverend Selena continues to show signs of improvement. She was less scared by the world today, though she still spent most her time hiding under the "tent" draped over the dinning room table and chairs. But she's eating and drinking and all that good stuff, and even spent some time with me on the floor, being petted, purring, and watching the birds and squirrels out the patio window.

I registered us for WisCon. I've been meaning to go for the last couple of years. I looked at some of the proposed programming. It looks interesting. I also registered us for dessert tickets, because you know, might as well, at least the first time.

I realized the other day one of the problems I've been having lately with the novel. I've done a good job, I think, at having ever increasing actions scenes followed by pauses. Rising action, rest, rising action, rest. But my last major bit of rising action was, well, pretty tense and now I've got to follow it with something more and bigger at the end. I need to work out exactly how I'm ending this book. Like, right now, because I'm only about 20 to 30 thousand words from the finish line.

On the positive side, I've spent the last hour working in my t-shirt and underwear. You've got to love a job that lets you do that!

I suspect I will not write tomorrow with all the packing. I also suspect I will only write in bits and snatches during the trip. I have no idea what kind of internet access I will have. I'm going to figure out how to do voice posts so careswen and I can keep you informed while we are on the road.

1000+ words again today.

I think I've climbed off my admittedly rather low and rather wide ledge.

There's nothing I can do about the damned dryer breaking, so I'll just run the last load on air until it freakin' dries, and I'll worry about replacing it when we get home.

There's nothing I can do about the cat except let her sort herself out. I've set up a "tent" she can hide under while we're gone by draping a heavy comforter across the kitchen table and over the chairs. She's downstairs enjoying it right now. I've all ready set food and water out downstairs for her to get her use to the idea. She's actually starting to act a little more like herself.

So that's that. This is going to be a good trip to Oklahoma. Period.

There's cheerful music on the stereo and there's no sense in driving myself crazy about problems I can't fix.

I'm about 100 words away from 1000, so I need to go make goal for the day. That's a thing I can do something about!

In Peace
Michael

Yes, I increased my projected word count for the story. Yes, I've decreased my target word-a-day goal.

I realized yesterday that was going to go over 90,000 words for this draft. The novel might still end up at around 90,000 once I've finished the rewrite, but the first draft is going to run over. I picked 100,000 words, even though I don't think it will reach that point, because it was a nice round number.

I've also decreased my daily goal on a temporary basis. I am reasonably sure I can maintain 1000 words a day minimum until we leave for Oklahoma in next week, despite al the preparation and housework I need to do between that point. Once we go to Oklahoma I plan to try and stick to at least 500 words a day, just so I don't lose all my momentum, then back to 1500 a day once we return.

That's the plan, though I suspect no one but me really cares.

I've been feeling weird and out-of-sorts lately, like there's a terrible storm lying just beyond the horizon and I know it's bringing something awful, but I can't tell what.

Seriously. I know it's stupid, but there it is. The only thing that's been keeping me sane and focused is the writing, and that's been going poorly the last couple of days. I had the most horrible night's sleep last night, and today I've got the shakes so bad you'd think I was a junkie coming down and crashing. I'm hoping having everyone over tomorrow for gaming will help settle me. Friendly faces are a good thing.

I think part of the problem is that the writing isn't going well right now. I've reached another tough stretch, were the characters have to come to terms with some things and some stuff needs explaining. I'm trying to write it, but I've got this terrible sense that I'm botching the whole thing. Still, there is nothing to do but move forward and hope for the best, remembering there is always the rewrite to come where I can attempt to repair what is broken.

I also suspect holiday anxiety has set in, making me twitchier (is that even a word?) than normal.

There is another thing going on with me as a writer, an fundamental shift in the way I look at what I'm doing and the approach I'm taking to my career, that is throwing me off as well, and will continue to do so until I come to terms with it.

But that's a post for another day.

I'm going to open my WiP and try to bull through all this.

Good-luck to us all.

I have a few errands to run this morning, then it will be settle in and try to write write write.

The plan is to write at as fast and furious a paces as I can managed until Friday, at which point preparations for gaming, last minute holiday stuff, and the trip to Oklahoma are likely to begin overwhelming my writing time. This is something I am prepared for. I plan to lower my output goal back down to 1000 words day starting on Friday and then to 500 words a day while we are in Oklahoma.

I will not allow the stress and fun of the holiday to drain me completely. That would just make me twitchy and cranky.

It's time to switch POV back to Mae.

Jill has done an excellent job of being POV character for the last 15,000+ words. She needs a rest. I thought about giving Jill one last chapter as POV character, kind of a dénouement after all the frantic action she's gone through.

However, Jill is going to be unconscious for a bit, because Jill is a broken, bloody mess. I think writing Mae's reaction to Jill's condition, post-rescue of Mae, will drive the narrative better. Jill has taken a beating. Mae has to deal with the consequences. Mae has to face the fact that Jill is in this condition because Jill chose to charge into the Underworld looking for Mae.

Once I've knocked this chapter down and officially hit the 2/3rds mark, I think it will be time to stop and read what I have written before I go careening into the end-game.

Onward!

We have achieved Christmas tree. I assembled it yesterday and tonight careswen and I decorated it. We turned off the lights in the house, lit the tree, and sat and looked at it for a long time. It makes me happy, and this from a guy who use to hate the holiday season.

You know what, life's too short to waste energy hating the holiday season. Learn to make your own enjoyment, separate from all the commercial crap and you'll be a lot happier. Well, at least I am happier. Your mileage may vary.

1500+ words again today, so I still hit my target goal despite a terribly slow start. Jill has arrived at the scene of the accident, finding the wreckage of the streetcar Mae was riding. She has had her suspicion that the hounds have taken Mae confirmed. She's about to go charging willy-nilly into danger.

It's been a nice change, writing from Jill's POV. She requires different headspace than Mae.

24-day sale of my fairy-tale poem "Cindy" to The Shantytown Anomaly for issue #4.

ETA: Contributor copies of Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine arrived today.

Strange things are a-foot at the Word Meter.

My third grandchild, Derrick Trooper Merriam, was born 14 November 2006. My goofy son finally got around to telling me this today. People are working hard at getting the entire Merriam/Wilcox/Myers/Harrison brood together for Christmas. I need to make some phone calls and find out what people have planned.

careswen and I nailed down most of our holiday season shopping in a four hour spree. We hit the new Super Target at Knollwood and then made a quick strike into Ridgedale Mall. There a few things I need to pick up at DreamHaven tomorrow while I'm in Uptown for the Twin Cities Speculative Fiction Writers Network meeting. That will make us finished with gifts that need to be shipped to Oklahoma. We still need few things for local people, but that can happen at a slower pace.

While sitting in traffic at Ridgedale my wife broke into the B.C. Clark Jewelry Anniversary Sale jingle.

Those of you who live in or have lived in Oklahoma know what I'm talking about.

careswen and I bought ourselves some nice flannel pajamas. They are warm and soft and comfy.

Alright, I'm going to try and knock down some writing before I crash.

Yes, there will be plenty of leftovers for my gaming group tomorrow. I probably cooked enough food for eight people. I can't help it.

Turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, gravy, yams, green beans, deviled eggs, dinner rolls, and apple pie await the hungry horde.

1250 and some change for words today. I'm moving and I've sorted out the problem plot points. Right now I feel like I'm being Too Much Exposition Man, but I'll go back and fix it in the rewrite. I mean really, by the time I reach the final draft of the novel it will only more or less resemble what I've got right now anyway.

I need to submit some short stories this weekend. They came home rejected and I decided to let them sit around through Thanksgiving, but now they need to go find homes of their own.

Bed now.

Tryptophan and a Word Meter

I realized this morning why the novel has been struggling along. Up to this point I've been setting up what I want to do, introducing the players, and trying to pull the reader in. Which is all well and good.

However, I'm a third of the way into the novel now, and I need to have certain things clear to me that still are not. I think this little slow down is the writer brain's way of saying, "Um, excuse me Mr. Writer-Guy, but we need to know why X and Y are happening, and we need you to be clear in your head about a couple of plot points."

Because, you know, plot matters.

Today, nestled among eating turkey and watching football and taking naps, there will be some brainstorming about plot and story.

May each of you have wonderful day today, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not.

Nothing says Christmas in Oklahoma like the smell of lighter fluid and burning mesquite. I'm just sayin'

I hope everyone on my flist is having a good thanksgiving, if they celebrate it, and a good Thursday if they don't.

careswen and I decided to skip hosting our annual Orphan's Thanksgiving Dinner. Instead we are focusing on ourselves this year. Things have been busy with my return to University and her moving the clinic. We've both been working a lot, working late, stressed out. All the bad things that can strain a marriage, even one as long running and solid as ours.

So, before we start to feel that strain, we are being wise and taking this holiday just for us. We have eaten the traditional dinner. Leftovers lurk in the kitchen, tempting us. Later I suspect we will succumb to that temptation. Reverend Selena is sleeping in the club chair. The football game is on. Our stomachs are full. Life is good.

We are thankful.

In Deep Peace,
Michael