An Epiphany Strikes Late In The Game

[mmerriam]

I've been posting chapters of my novel, "Old Blood's Fate," on the workshop. One of the nice things about being on OWW is you can, if you are lucky and willing to work hard in return, develop relationships with people who will tell you the truth about your work, and point you in the right direction. I've managed to collect several reviews from people whose opinions I trust.

(allochthon, ccfinlay, dlandon, everyonesakitty, jmeadows, matociquala, merebrillante, navicat, and sosostris2012, I'm looking at you guys. Thanks for all the help!)

After reading the reviews by these very smart people, I think we have unearthed the main problem I'm having with this piece.

I'm rushing things. I'm not giving enough grounding details. I'm not using the really juicy verbs that can punch up a descriptive scene. I've had several reviewers tell me many of the same things: that the scenes are a little too frantic, that I could flesh out people and places more. That they need more information and description than I am giving them. That I'm rushing the story at a faster pace than it needs.

(Lest everyone think it is all first novel doom and gloom, there have also been some very positive things said about it. Most everyone thinks my main protagonist is a strong and likeable character, the villains are sympathetic, the blended mythology is working, and the dialogue is natural and flows well. So yes, there are things working, and they are things that I did nearly two years ago, when I was at a different skill level.)

I was looking over the reviews everyone left and wondering how in the hell I was going to fix this. The stupid thing is already almost 130,000 words long.

And it hit me (well, actually what ccfinlay said hit me): I'm writing a novel, but I'm thinking like a short story writer. I'm use to shoving eight pounds worth of story into a five pound bag, but what I have is three ten pound bags waiting to be filled.

*facepalm*

I've been approaching the piece from the wrong angle. I've been using the wrong storytelling technique the whole time!

I've been trying to cram everything into a single novel, because I've spent the last few years practicing the art of cramming everything into a single story. But a novel is a completely different type of storytelling. I've been trying to write this piece like it's an overgrown short story, but that's not what a novel is. And even though I already knew this, I did it anyway. A little part of my brain kept trying to tell me that, if the story was too big for one novel (which, if I go back and do it right, it obviously is), then it's okay to make it two or three novels. I, however, ruthlessly muzzled that little voice in my determination to get it all down in one book.

Why? Because I was thinking like a short story writer, not a novelist.

*headdesk*

Stupid writer! No biscuit for you!

I don't have one 130,000 word novel: I have the framework for two 90,000 word novels, or three 75,000 word novels. Now I know what to do. I have the skeleton and most of the internal organs in place, but I need to add muscle and skin to this tale.

Thank you, my wonderful reviewers and crit buddies. You've pointed me the right direction.

Back to work.

In Peace
Michael

Comments

[merebrillante.livejournal.com]

Yay, Michael! I think you and Charlie hit the nail on the head. I'd been thinking about Old Blood's Fate the past couple of days, cat-waxing because I've been putting off doing new reviews. One of the things I thought was that what I've seen so far felt more like a screenplay, with the quick cuts, the little setting details left out that the artistic director would come and fill in later.

But your observation that there's too much story to tell in one novel is, I think, the key to telling all the stories you're wanting to tell about this world. I'm so glad you had this epiphany.

Oh, and I still remember the comment about English as a second language. I went back and looked at that review, and I think that comment was directed more at the number of typos in your story than to your writing ability.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I was trying so hard to shove everything I wanted to write about into one novel, that I completely lost sight of the bigger picture. I feel like I've made another leap as a writer.

If I didn't have a 15 page paper to write for class, I'd jump into rewrites right now!

I was not angry at the person who made the ESL comment; I was angry at myself for basically walking out the door without my pants on, as it were. I've just looked at the manuscript for so long, my eyes slide over stuff sometimes. That is why I don't actually submit anything until careswen has a chance to copy edit it for me.

[brithistorian.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear that things are looking up in your writing. Huzzah for Michael!

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I feel like I've just taken an important step as a writer.

[brithistorian.livejournal.com]

just be careful not to turn this step into a leap and turn three 75,000 word books into twelve 200,000 word books. ;-)

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

If you ever, for one minute, think I'm about to turn into Robert Jordan, you have my permission to come to my house and smack me in the head. Although you will probably have to stand in line.

[brithistorian.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear it. :-)

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

It's always better to find that you have too much story for one book, instead of too little.

Excelsior!

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I just realized that this means I get to put my phantom streetcar scene back into the novel!

[stillsostrange.livejournal.com]

Are you going to start revising when you're done with school stuff, or should I keep reviewing the chapters you have up? (That's the hypothetical sort of review that might happen when I stop being lazy, which could happen any day now.)

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I think I'm going to start revising soon, under the theory of what I am planing to do will cause major changes in the way the whole thing reads and flows. I'll probably start tinkering with it this weekend, with an eye toward working furiously on it over the holidays between semesters. I do have a whole gaggle of short pieces I'm going to put up on the shop in the next day or two, so I'll have something for you to look at, if you want.

please?

[raecarson.livejournal.com]

*gets warm fuzzy for OWW*

ONWARD!!!

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

OWW really has been the best thing to happen to me as a writer. And falling in with you, Jodi, Holly, Heather, Kim, Bear, Amanda, Charlie, Dena, and everyone else I typical trade reviews with has been one of the luckiest breaks I've ever caught.

[congofriend.livejournal.com]

I happen to be one of those people who has been looking for a little fleshing out of your scenes, but I think that your work is terrific nonetheless. And I happen to agree with one reader who compared your work to a screenplay. That's how it came across for me, packed with the important things: zippy dialogue and great character sketches that flow nicely within the story. As far as I'm concerned, you've got the hard part done.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I didn't find your LJ until today, or you would have been listed above. I'm planing to work on the first book in the set over the holidays. I might repost the earlier chapters once I've rewritten them. And hey, thanks for the review of the Fire Story on OWW!