A Fill-in-the-Blank Meme and April Stats

If you would be so kind, ask me the seven questions below. Just copy and paste them into a comment, replace the blanks with anything you want--personal, silly, surreal (e.g. 3. Donkeys or sandcastles and why?), or deep -- and I'll answer honestly as I can!

1. What do you think of _____________ ?

2. When did you last ____________?

3. __________ or ___________ and why?

4. What did you ______________?

5. What's your favorite ______________?

6. How would you ______________?

7. Who would you most like to ________ ?


April Stats
Submissions Made: 4
Sales: 0
Rejections: 3
Other: 0
Publications: 2
Crits Given: 2
Approx Word Count: 12398
Stories Circulating: 11

A Fill-in-the-Blank Meme and April Stats

If you would be so kind, ask me the seven questions below. Just copy and paste them into a comment, replace the blanks with anything you want--personal, silly, surreal (e.g. 3. Donkeys or sandcastles and why?), or deep -- and I'll answer honestly as I can!

1. What do you think of _____________ ?

2. When did you last ____________?

3. __________ or ___________ and why?

4. What did you ______________?

5. What's your favorite ______________?

6. How would you ______________?

7. Who would you most like to ________ ?


April Stats
Submissions Made: 4
Sales: 0
Rejections: 3
Other: 0
Publications: 2
Crits Given: 2
Approx Word Count: 12398
Stories Circulating: 11

Answers: Part 1

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

janradder asks:

1. What do you think of Cookie Puss?

Horrifying. Really, David Letterman had the best idea in the world when he tossed one off a tall building. I suspect it tweaks the same thing in me that finds clowns so disturbing.

2. When did you last eat a jelly donut?

Oh, man, I don't really remember. Sometime last year I think. I need to correct that.

3. Shish kebab or wienerschnitzel and why?

This is a tough one, because I like them both, but I'm going to go with wienerschnitzel because it is the culinary ancestor to one of my favorite comfort foods, the Chicken Fried Steak.

4. What did you melt when you were a child?

Plastic army men, though I was fascinated by anything that melted. We lived in the country when I was a kid and had a burn barrel, so watching plastic bottles melt down was something I found interesting.

5. What's you're favorite light bulb?

Sylvania soft white 60 watt.

6. How would you direct traffic?

With a conductors baton. And poorly, since I'm blind, which would be the best revenge on all the stupid drivers who have nearly run me down--even when I'm walking legally in a crosswalk--over the last few years.

7. Who would you most like to insult?

Toss up between Supreme Court Justice Scalia and Ronald McDonald. They're both a couple of clowns in desperate need of ridicule.

Answers: Part 1

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

janradder asks:

1. What do you think of Cookie Puss?

Horrifying. Really, David Letterman had the best idea in the world when he tossed one off a tall building. I suspect it tweaks the same thing in me that finds clowns so disturbing.

2. When did you last eat a jelly donut?

Oh, man, I don't really remember. Sometime last year I think. I need to correct that.

3. Shish kebab or wienerschnitzel and why?

This is a tough one, because I like them both, but I'm going to go with wienerschnitzel because it is the culinary ancestor to one of my favorite comfort foods, the Chicken Fried Steak.

4. What did you melt when you were a child?

Plastic army men, though I was fascinated by anything that melted. We lived in the country when I was a kid and had a burn barrel, so watching plastic bottles melt down was something I found interesting.

5. What's you're favorite light bulb?

Sylvania soft white 60 watt.

6. How would you direct traffic?

With a conductors baton. And poorly, since I'm blind, which would be the best revenge on all the stupid drivers who have nearly run me down--even when I'm walking legally in a crosswalk--over the last few years.

7. Who would you most like to insult?

Toss up between Supreme Court Justice Scalia and Ronald McDonald. They're both a couple of clowns in desperate need of ridicule.

Answers: Part 2

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

mrissa asks:

1. What do you think of the Olympics in China?

Ok, first of all, I have hard time getting excited about the Olympics in China because they are the Summer Olympics, and I'm really more of a Winter Olympics kind of guy.

That said, I think that despite China's horrible record on human rights and other issues near and dear to my heart, the way to bring about change is to engage the Chinese government and Chinese people. Something like the Olympics gives the people of the world and the people of China an opportunity to engage with each other, to see each other as just people, and perhaps plant the seeds of change on some of the issues I find the Chinese government lacking on.

The bottom line is, we can't make the world a better place if we don't talk to each other. Do You Hear Me Washington D.C.?

2. When did you last cook eggs?

I had a one egg cheese omelet for breakfast on Tuesday. It was tasty.

3. Strawberries or blueberries and why?

This is a tough one, but I'm going to go with Strawberries. They are less squishy than blueberries, and seem to work better in a larger variety of dishes. Plus, they don't stain your fingers and clothes nearly as bad as blueberries.

4. What did you do with that thing? You know, the blue one? Is it on the kitchen counter?

The blue one? The one I got at that place with the people? Yeah, about that: There was an unfortunate accident involving three pounds of brown rice, a go-cart, the miniature ghost of Carl Jung, fireplace tongs, a Sousaphone, and Jeanne Garofalo, in which the blue one was sucked into an alternate dimension.

I don't really want to talk about that anymore, but I will replace it next time I'm there. I do, however, still have the red one. The cat is wearing it.

5. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Blue Bunny's Bunny Tracks is my current favorite. Before that, well, I don't know who made it, but in Oklahoma there was this ice cream that was dark chocolate, almonds, and cherries. It was yummy!

6. How would you lure a squirrel?

In order to lure a squirrel one must have the proper squirrel luring equipment, which includes a life-like tree costume, a squirrel call, and some nuts. Just be aware that once you've lured the squirrel in, they always go right for your nuts.

What?

7. Who would you most like to be on a panel with?

That I haven't already been on one with? Well, you and I haven't been on a panel together. I think that would be fun!

Answers: Part 2

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

mrissa asks:

1. What do you think of the Olympics in China?

Ok, first of all, I have hard time getting excited about the Olympics in China because they are the Summer Olympics, and I'm really more of a Winter Olympics kind of guy.

That said, I think that despite China's horrible record on human rights and other issues near and dear to my heart, the way to bring about change is to engage the Chinese government and Chinese people. Something like the Olympics gives the people of the world and the people of China an opportunity to engage with each other, to see each other as just people, and perhaps plant the seeds of change on some of the issues I find the Chinese government lacking on.

The bottom line is, we can't make the world a better place if we don't talk to each other. Do You Hear Me Washington D.C.?

2. When did you last cook eggs?

I had a one egg cheese omelet for breakfast on Tuesday. It was tasty.

3. Strawberries or blueberries and why?

This is a tough one, but I'm going to go with Strawberries. They are less squishy than blueberries, and seem to work better in a larger variety of dishes. Plus, they don't stain your fingers and clothes nearly as bad as blueberries.

4. What did you do with that thing? You know, the blue one? Is it on the kitchen counter?

The blue one? The one I got at that place with the people? Yeah, about that: There was an unfortunate accident involving three pounds of brown rice, a go-cart, the miniature ghost of Carl Jung, fireplace tongs, a Sousaphone, and Jeanne Garofalo, in which the blue one was sucked into an alternate dimension.

I don't really want to talk about that anymore, but I will replace it next time I'm there. I do, however, still have the red one. The cat is wearing it.

5. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Blue Bunny's Bunny Tracks is my current favorite. Before that, well, I don't know who made it, but in Oklahoma there was this ice cream that was dark chocolate, almonds, and cherries. It was yummy!

6. How would you lure a squirrel?

In order to lure a squirrel one must have the proper squirrel luring equipment, which includes a life-like tree costume, a squirrel call, and some nuts. Just be aware that once you've lured the squirrel in, they always go right for your nuts.

What?

7. Who would you most like to be on a panel with?

That I haven't already been on one with? Well, you and I haven't been on a panel together. I think that would be fun!

Answers: Part 3

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

songwind asks:

1. What do you think of Creative Commons?

Honestly, I have haven't quite figured out what it's purpose is. I mean, I get that it is designed to "enable copyright holders to grant some or all of their rights to the public while retaining others through a variety of licensing and contract schemes including dedication to the public domain or open content licensing terms," but I'm not sure of the necessity of it.

I think the energy used to create and maintain the CC project could be better spent working to rewrite existing copyright law so that it doesn't benefit a handful of corporations such as Disney.

2. When did you last bowl?

Too long ago. I haven't been bowling since we moved to Minnesota in 1999, and while I suck mightily at it, I still enjoy it!

3. Humanoid aliens or elves and why?

Despite the fact that I don't write SF, I'm going with Humanoid Aliens because I think they offer the writer more range as characters and less literary baggage than Elves.

4. What did you think when you found out you were losing your sight?

For the longest time, nothing. Once the ophthalmologist dropped the bomb, it was never spoken of again by my family, and I was never taken back for follow-up care. Since I was left alone to deal with it as a teenager, I tried hard to pretend it wasn't happening. The people around me--family, friends, teacher--did me a terrible disservice by pretending right along with me that everything was going to be fine.

But in the dark of night when I was alone with my thoughts? I was scared for the longest time. Eventually I got to the acceptance point, but the hard and sad fact is that I made most this journey into blindness alone. I consider myself fortunate that I had careswen to take some of hardest last steps with me.

5. What's your favorite ethnic cuisine?

Tex-Mex, but Chinese is a close second, and the more I'm exposed to East Indian cuisine the more I enjoy it.

6. How would you rewrite Dune?

I don’t really have the necessary skill level to improve it. That said, I think I'd tightened it a little bit, and I think Herbert's prose, which is clunky at times, could be smoothed out. I think the sequels all pretty much need to die.

7. Who would you most like to live near, whom you do not?

Assuming that they are going to move to where I am: I'd like all my friends to live within easy walking distance of me. Sometimes I feel a little isolated, since I have to take public transportation everywhere I go.

Answers: Part 3

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

songwind asks:

1. What do you think of Creative Commons?

Honestly, I have haven't quite figured out what it's purpose is. I mean, I get that it is designed to "enable copyright holders to grant some or all of their rights to the public while retaining others through a variety of licensing and contract schemes including dedication to the public domain or open content licensing terms," but I'm not sure of the necessity of it.

I think the energy used to create and maintain the CC project could be better spent working to rewrite existing copyright law so that it doesn't benefit a handful of corporations such as Disney.

2. When did you last bowl?

Too long ago. I haven't been bowling since we moved to Minnesota in 1999, and while I suck mightily at it, I still enjoy it!

3. Humanoid aliens or elves and why?

Despite the fact that I don't write SF, I'm going with Humanoid Aliens because I think they offer the writer more range as characters and less literary baggage than Elves.

4. What did you think when you found out you were losing your sight?

For the longest time, nothing. Once the ophthalmologist dropped the bomb, it was never spoken of again by my family, and I was never taken back for follow-up care. Since I was left alone to deal with it as a teenager, I tried hard to pretend it wasn't happening. The people around me--family, friends, teacher--did me a terrible disservice by pretending right along with me that everything was going to be fine.

But in the dark of night when I was alone with my thoughts? I was scared for the longest time. Eventually I got to the acceptance point, but the hard and sad fact is that I made most this journey into blindness alone. I consider myself fortunate that I had careswen to take some of hardest last steps with me.

5. What's your favorite ethnic cuisine?

Tex-Mex, but Chinese is a close second, and the more I'm exposed to East Indian cuisine the more I enjoy it.

6. How would you rewrite Dune?

I don’t really have the necessary skill level to improve it. That said, I think I'd tightened it a little bit, and I think Herbert's prose, which is clunky at times, could be smoothed out. I think the sequels all pretty much need to die.

7. Who would you most like to live near, whom you do not?

Assuming that they are going to move to where I am: I'd like all my friends to live within easy walking distance of me. Sometimes I feel a little isolated, since I have to take public transportation everywhere I go.

Answers: Part 4

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

greykev asks:


1. What do you think of global warming?

You mean global climate change? I think that ignoring it is a complete disaster in the making.

Look, if we do the things necessary to save ourselves from global climate change, and then those of us who believe in global climate change turn out to be wrong, well, we’ve still moved to something more sustainable long term, even if it was at a huge cost to the world economy.

If, however we do nothing--as the doubters would like--and then it turns out global climate change is real? I fear by time the doubters come around, it will likely be too late. If that happens, we are toast as a species.

I don't think it's a hard choice, but a lot of people would rather gamble the extinction of the species than make the short term sacrifices needed to secure our continued existence.

2. When did you last belly laugh?

I have no idea. Maybe at Minicon, but I'm not sure.

3. Birkenstocks or flip-flops and why?

Birkenstocks are the clear winner because of the straps and such. Flip-flops tend to fly right off my feet.

4. What did you regret about leaving Oklahoma?

I am a long way from my family and children, so I miss them and worry that I can't help them when they need it.

5. What's your favorite pulp superhero?

For old-fashioned pulpy goodness, I've always been partial to Burroughs' John Carter of Mars character, though I liked Doc Savage when I was younger, and was a fan of the DC comic "Warlord."

6. How would you utilize time travel?

Are talking Doctor Who style time travel? H.G. Wells style time travel?

I think the whole concept is fraught with peril. I also have a deep seated belief that, even if it were possible, the time lime / time stream would work hard to protect itself.

That said, I'd love to go back and observe certain events and see how people form various time periods really lived, as opposed to how we think they lived.

7. Who would you most like to bitchslap?

Any number of people in political administrations ranging from LBJ to W. And George Lucas, because really…

Answers: Part 4

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

greykev asks:


1. What do you think of global warming?

You mean global climate change? I think that ignoring it is a complete disaster in the making.

Look, if we do the things necessary to save ourselves from global climate change, and then those of us who believe in global climate change turn out to be wrong, well, we’ve still moved to something more sustainable long term, even if it was at a huge cost to the world economy.

If, however we do nothing--as the doubters would like--and then it turns out global climate change is real? I fear by time the doubters come around, it will likely be too late. If that happens, we are toast as a species.

I don't think it's a hard choice, but a lot of people would rather gamble the extinction of the species than make the short term sacrifices needed to secure our continued existence.

2. When did you last belly laugh?

I have no idea. Maybe at Minicon, but I'm not sure.

3. Birkenstocks or flip-flops and why?

Birkenstocks are the clear winner because of the straps and such. Flip-flops tend to fly right off my feet.

4. What did you regret about leaving Oklahoma?

I am a long way from my family and children, so I miss them and worry that I can't help them when they need it.

5. What's your favorite pulp superhero?

For old-fashioned pulpy goodness, I've always been partial to Burroughs' John Carter of Mars character, though I liked Doc Savage when I was younger, and was a fan of the DC comic "Warlord."

6. How would you utilize time travel?

Are talking Doctor Who style time travel? H.G. Wells style time travel?

I think the whole concept is fraught with peril. I also have a deep seated belief that, even if it were possible, the time lime / time stream would work hard to protect itself.

That said, I'd love to go back and observe certain events and see how people form various time periods really lived, as opposed to how we think they lived.

7. Who would you most like to bitchslap?

Any number of people in political administrations ranging from LBJ to W. And George Lucas, because really…

Answers: Part 5

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

pentacon asks:

1. What do you think of polyamory?

I think that if a person or persons have enough love to give, if they go into it with their eyes open and are willing to communicate and to comprise and do all the hard work that will keep any type of relationship healthy and whole, then why not? I think if everyone involved is an adult, and willing, and really wants to, then why shouldn't they? I think really strong and loving families can be built this way.

Are there pitfalls and problems with polyamory? Sure. It's definitely not for everyone, and I think too many people who have no business being in a non-traditional relationship--because they lack the maturity (no matter their age), mental or emotional stability, or the kind of life- experience that can carry them though a tough time--get into polyamory for various wrong reasons, with unfortunate consequences.

He's the deal: I think consenting adults should be allowed to love each other however they want, with whomever they love, as long as they are all in agreement.

Because at the end of the day, isn't that what we really want, to love and be loved in return?

2. When did you last have a character get out of control?

When I was writing Last Car to Annwn Station, the character Jill kept trying to get me to write a hot sex scene with her and Mae. I managed to keep things under control in the final draft, but...

3. Star Wars or Star Trek and why?

Love them both and before Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, I would have said Star Wars, but I love me some DS9 for a lot of the same reasons I loved the original Star Wars trilogy.

It was dirty, grimy, the tech didn't always work, never mind save the day. The characters were flawed and human and didn't always like each other, but they did their duties and jobs and did them well. And despite all that, it still had a hopeful message. It was good stuff. So I guess Trek, but mostly because of DS9.

4. What did you do?

*Looks down at his shoes and kicks the dirt*

Nothin'.

5. What's your favorite material?

Flannel. I love the warmth and softness and general feel of flannel. Other people can have their satin and silk, but for me it's flannel.

6. How would you start the story of your life?

"While it would be years before the reasons for all that happened became clear, in the end it worked out all right."

7. Who would you most like to interview, living or dead?

Roger Zelazny. It is one of my great regrets that I never had the chance to meet him.

Answers: Part 5

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

pentacon asks:

1. What do you think of polyamory?

I think that if a person or persons have enough love to give, if they go into it with their eyes open and are willing to communicate and to comprise and do all the hard work that will keep any type of relationship healthy and whole, then why not? I think if everyone involved is an adult, and willing, and really wants to, then why shouldn't they? I think really strong and loving families can be built this way.

Are there pitfalls and problems with polyamory? Sure. It's definitely not for everyone, and I think too many people who have no business being in a non-traditional relationship--because they lack the maturity (no matter their age), mental or emotional stability, or the kind of life- experience that can carry them though a tough time--get into polyamory for various wrong reasons, with unfortunate consequences.

He's the deal: I think consenting adults should be allowed to love each other however they want, with whomever they love, as long as they are all in agreement.

Because at the end of the day, isn't that what we really want, to love and be loved in return?

2. When did you last have a character get out of control?

When I was writing Last Car to Annwn Station, the character Jill kept trying to get me to write a hot sex scene with her and Mae. I managed to keep things under control in the final draft, but...

3. Star Wars or Star Trek and why?

Love them both and before Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, I would have said Star Wars, but I love me some DS9 for a lot of the same reasons I loved the original Star Wars trilogy.

It was dirty, grimy, the tech didn't always work, never mind save the day. The characters were flawed and human and didn't always like each other, but they did their duties and jobs and did them well. And despite all that, it still had a hopeful message. It was good stuff. So I guess Trek, but mostly because of DS9.

4. What did you do?

*Looks down at his shoes and kicks the dirt*

Nothin'.

5. What's your favorite material?

Flannel. I love the warmth and softness and general feel of flannel. Other people can have their satin and silk, but for me it's flannel.

6. How would you start the story of your life?

"While it would be years before the reasons for all that happened became clear, in the end it worked out all right."

7. Who would you most like to interview, living or dead?

Roger Zelazny. It is one of my great regrets that I never had the chance to meet him.

Answers: Part 6

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

will_couvillier asks:

1. What do you think of SETI?

I'm all for listening to the heavens in search of someone else out there. I do worry that one day they're going to show up, kick our asses, and use us for slave labor, but...

2. When did you last visit Louisiana?

In 1996 or 1997, I can't remember the exact year. My wife was still in college at the University of Oklahoma, and we went with a group to study voodoo in New Orleans, sponsored by the Presbyterian Church through the University's United Ministry Center. The Reverend Becky Hebert ran the center and was a Louisiana native. We stayed for a week in a hostel, and had a great time exploring New Orleans.

I'll never forget the look on people's faces when we stopped at this little roadside greasy spoon and a catfish head floated up from someone's bowl of gumbo. The Reverend Hebert looked at it and said to the person, "That's the difference between city gumbo and good gumbo, you know."

3. Flourescent or incandescent, and why?

You know, I can't really tell any difference because of my lousy photoreceptors. I'm going to make the switch to fluorescent because they are more cost effective.

4. What did you do with your childhood baseball card collection?

Sigh. I sold it at a yard sale. I had a '56 Mantle, Bench and Ryan rookie cards. If I'd held on for a few more years...

Shrug. Such is life, and those cards brought me a lot of joy as a kid.

5. What's your favorite herb?

I loves me some oregano!

6. How would you feel about autographs through the mail?

Dude, if someone wants my autograph, and they're willing to pay for the postage both directions, I'll happily sign!

7. Who would you most like to be the boss of for a day?

All of you. My first order as boss of you all would be: "Everyone take the day off, with pay."

Answers: Part 6

Questions from the original post here. Feel free to go ask your own questions!

will_couvillier asks:

1. What do you think of SETI?

I'm all for listening to the heavens in search of someone else out there. I do worry that one day they're going to show up, kick our asses, and use us for slave labor, but...

2. When did you last visit Louisiana?

In 1996 or 1997, I can't remember the exact year. My wife was still in college at the University of Oklahoma, and we went with a group to study voodoo in New Orleans, sponsored by the Presbyterian Church through the University's United Ministry Center. The Reverend Becky Hebert ran the center and was a Louisiana native. We stayed for a week in a hostel, and had a great time exploring New Orleans.

I'll never forget the look on people's faces when we stopped at this little roadside greasy spoon and a catfish head floated up from someone's bowl of gumbo. The Reverend Hebert looked at it and said to the person, "That's the difference between city gumbo and good gumbo, you know."

3. Flourescent or incandescent, and why?

You know, I can't really tell any difference because of my lousy photoreceptors. I'm going to make the switch to fluorescent because they are more cost effective.

4. What did you do with your childhood baseball card collection?

Sigh. I sold it at a yard sale. I had a '56 Mantle, Bench and Ryan rookie cards. If I'd held on for a few more years...

Shrug. Such is life, and those cards brought me a lot of joy as a kid.

5. What's your favorite herb?

I loves me some oregano!

6. How would you feel about autographs through the mail?

Dude, if someone wants my autograph, and they're willing to pay for the postage both directions, I'll happily sign!

7. Who would you most like to be the boss of for a day?

All of you. My first order as boss of you all would be: "Everyone take the day off, with pay."