Ophthalmologist Report: Yup, still blind!

[mmerriam]

Who here is surprised?  Next week I see the retina specialist to find out how much and how badly I've degraded.  We are talking about me having the cataract surgery on my right eye, but there's also a little bit of: what's the point?

As flippant as my subject line is, I have to remember that not everyone in my position has reached the point I am at, this place of both acceptance and the ability to see the humor in the situation.   

While we are in the office waiting to be seen, there was a couple across and a few chairs over from us.  When we arrived they were talking quietly to each other, smiling, at ease.  Later, when they came out (probably to wait for the dilation drops to work) before I went back, you could tell the news wasn't good.  She was quiet, fidgeting with her hands, giving little sighs.  The expression on her face kept cycling from sadness to upset to angry to resigned to something unreadable and back again.  She would tense up, and then suddenly deflate. At times he would lean over and say something.  A couple of times she just shook her head, another time I thought she was going to burst into tears.  The optician came out with a bag and talked to the woman quietly, explaining about the various eye drops.  Later, when they left the office, she seemed in better spirits, but I'm well acquainted with being "fine" or even "upbeat" in the face of disaster.   

And all I can really do is hope that--whatever the news was--she has people around her to help and support her.

Comments

[xjenavivex.livejournal.com]

I say this often. I am so glad I know you.

[xjenavivex.livejournal.com]

There is a part of me that wishes the news was better. The truth is that this was expected. That lends more towards a nod of acceptance.

I understand where you are coming from with the surgery. I do.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

I hope next week goes as well as possible.

[tiny-wings.livejournal.com]

I think she would have been alone in the waiting room if she had no one to help :-)

[wordswoman.livejournal.com]

Good luck with next week's appointment, Michael. Thinking of you.

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

I've seen these differences in various neurologist's offices over the years for Arie and for me: the newbies (like I was, in both cases) devastated and confused, and the old-timers clomping cheerfully in, laughing and talking.

They bothered me the first time. The second time, when I was in for myself, I watched them closely. I will be like them soon, I promised myself, and lo and behold I was.

[careswen.livejournal.com]

It did seem to me that the young woman was watching us as I was filling out the paperwork for mmerriam (why an eye clinic makes their forms in tiny print, I'll never understand). I hope that the young couple observed us working on it together, and the strength that comes from our unity.

You're right, it's still scary at times, but not as much as it used to be.

This is the first time I've noticed the cane in your icon. Was it always there?

[haddayr.livejournal.com]

I always mess with my icon; for a while there, it was pregnant. I use the one with the cane when I am having a gimpy day, if I am posting about gimp topics, or on my gimp blogs.

Today, I am giving you a very lovely face to look at instead of my icon.

[careswen.livejournal.com]

Hee, thanks!

[xray-spex.livejournal.com]

I wish I'd had support back 3 years ago when I was diagnosed. But instead I hid it the diagnosis from everyone, let it eat me up inside and tear my whole world to shreds. My life still hasn't recovered.

Btw, I'm not certain that I'd have the cataract surgery that I just had done in Sept. if I could time travel back and tell myself how things would turn out for me.

I'd be happy to talk more about it if you want to.

~X

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I remember when I was diagnosed (I was 15), the ophthalmologist told my family I would probably need some transition counseling, since there was really nothing to do about the RP except track its progress.

Instead we went home and no ever spoke of it again. I was pretty much left alone to deal with the knowledge of what was going to happen, and if I brought it up, there was a general attitude of, "Well, we'll deal with that later."

I would like to hear your thought on the surgery you had. I've done it in the left eye, but I'm sure it's going to be worth the effort and expense of doing the right, everything considered. If you don't want to discuss it here, my email is listed in my profile.