Works in Progress First Lines

[mmerriam]

Because I haven't done this in awhile.

He leaned into the young woman, gently caressing her cheek with the barest feather-light touch of his fingertips.

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Sharisha sat still, waiting for the tree spirit to appear.

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I didn't know the old man was handing me Excalibur.

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You probably have not seen the troll living inside the walls of the Lowry Hill Tunnel.

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Sari sat in the nearly deserted fast food restaurant, idly munching on her soggy fries and watching the young mother with her two children across the room.

(ETA: 29 Aug 2010: I figure out last night that the scene this is in will actually come second or third in the story, instead of first, so I guess it isn't a first line anymore.)

#

Donel had not meant to kidnap the Hag of Kilmarra.

Comments

[camillealexa.livejournal.com]

Donel had not meant to kidnap the Hag of Kilmarra.

I like.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[magentamn.livejournal.com]

The troll inside the Lowry Hill Tunnel??? Maybe that's why it gives me the creeps to go that way!

Seriously, I have *got* to read that when you finish it.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I've been chipping away at it this summer.

[glynisj.livejournal.com]

This is something I need to work on more.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

I'd love yo see your first lines.

[glynisj.livejournal.com]

Here's one, but I think it needed to be beefed up a little --

Reann hesitated at the kitchen table. “Why am I feeling so wary about this?” she asked in a whisper.

[will-couvillier.livejournal.com]

Pretty neat first lines - well, except for me I can't really care why Sari is eating soggy fries. Or why she is watching people in a restaurant. Unless the troll appears to attack her with Excalibur, while the hag walks from the back munching on Donel's third rib...

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

And the thing is, I figure out last night that the scene this is in will actually come second or third in the story, instead of first, so I guess it isn't a first line anymore.

[careswen.livejournal.com]

Hag and Tunnel are my favs.

Typo in first one = check