mmerriam: (Blind)
[personal profile] mmerriam
One of the things you have to do when you find yourself losing your vision is keep careful track of your surroundings.

I've been having a bit of trouble with this the last few days.

For openers, I've been experiencing instances of seeing things that obviously are not there. I suspect this is my brain trying really hard to fill in the blanks, but still, penciling in a squirrel climbing up the wall inside the coffee shop, that's not helping. And the whatever it was my brain was trying to fill in that startled me enough to make me start batting at thin air in my own kitchen? That was just plain old mean of my brain to do. I have enough trouble without seeing things that aren't really there (or are they?). Weird movements, human shaped forms, odd shadows, and fast moving unidentifiable whattsits. It's a bit like having your own personal haunted house that follows you around.

I've also been getting disoriented spatially for the last couple of weeks. I'm having a terrible time judging distances and depth, and so I keep hitting the end of cabinets and the hood of the range and other such things with my hands and clipping the corners of doorways and furniture with my shoulders, legs, and feet. When I'm on the stairs I just close my eyes, because they're lying to me anyway.

Walking home from downtown Hopkins I slammed my shoulder into the fire hydrant valve that sticks out from the wall of a building. I really thought I was: a) far enough to the right and b) not that close to it anyway. I hit it with my left shoulder at full walking speed. Care to guess which one gave?

Not fun. Not fun at all.

I need to slow my pace down and be more deliberate in my movements, I guess.

In Peace,
Michael

Date: 2007-06-30 08:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] j-cheney.livejournal.com
I'm not certain fun is the correct word for this. There's a british mystery series where the detective has AZOOR, which is a bizarre retinopathy which causes him to, among other things, fill in what isn't there--and hallucinate. I suspect one retinopathy might have characteristics similar to another.

Is it possible that one of your eyes has taken over and is skewing your depth perception. Left eye not doing its load, perhaps? (Just a thought from a non-opthamologist)

Date: 2007-06-30 11:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mylefteye.livejournal.com
Oh yes, this sounds familiar. The best bit is when you're halfway across a road that seconds ago you decided was clear. Then out of the corner of your eye -- WHICH NO LONGER EXISTS, DAMMIT! -- you see a bloody great truck or bus bearing silently down on you. Then, after you've leapt six foot into the air and landed on the grass verge in a heap, you hear your brain chuckle: "Gotcha!"

I actually did this last week, jumped across the road. Usually I swear under my breath and steel myself for the impact I KNOW isn't coming.

Date: 2007-07-01 12:37 am (UTC)
pjthompson: (Default)
From: [personal profile] pjthompson
Bless you, Michael.

Date: 2007-07-01 02:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maryjdal.livejournal.com
I can’t comprehend vision loss Michael except the annoyance of not having reading glasses handy – I do admire you very much for your strength and your humor with the hand you were dealt. Bless you.

Date: 2007-07-01 03:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greykev.livejournal.com
Sorry your brain is playing tricks on you, that really sucks.

Perhaps seeing that ghost has unlocked your latent second-sight? Though I'm not sure what a spirit-squirrel would be doing in a coffee shop, looking for hazelnuts no doubt.

Date: 2007-07-01 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allochthon.livejournal.com
Eh, you just need to get some echolocation installed. I know this guy down in Brazil...

Date: 2007-07-03 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purdypiedad.livejournal.com
Wow. That is just extreme suckage. I do find it very inspiring though to know some of the challenges you face while you maintain an incredible sense of humor and don't let these obstacles stop you. You rock.

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