Fun With Vision Loss

[mmerriam]

One of the things you have to do when you find yourself losing your vision is keep careful track of your surroundings.

I've been having a bit of trouble with this the last few days.

For openers, I've been experiencing instances of seeing things that obviously are not there. I suspect this is my brain trying really hard to fill in the blanks, but still, penciling in a squirrel climbing up the wall inside the coffee shop, that's not helping. And the whatever it was my brain was trying to fill in that startled me enough to make me start batting at thin air in my own kitchen? That was just plain old mean of my brain to do. I have enough trouble without seeing things that aren't really there (or are they?). Weird movements, human shaped forms, odd shadows, and fast moving unidentifiable whattsits. It's a bit like having your own personal haunted house that follows you around.

I've also been getting disoriented spatially for the last couple of weeks. I'm having a terrible time judging distances and depth, and so I keep hitting the end of cabinets and the hood of the range and other such things with my hands and clipping the corners of doorways and furniture with my shoulders, legs, and feet. When I'm on the stairs I just close my eyes, because they're lying to me anyway.

Walking home from downtown Hopkins I slammed my shoulder into the fire hydrant valve that sticks out from the wall of a building. I really thought I was: a) far enough to the right and b) not that close to it anyway. I hit it with my left shoulder at full walking speed. Care to guess which one gave?

Not fun. Not fun at all.

I need to slow my pace down and be more deliberate in my movements, I guess.

In Peace,
Michael

Comments

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

I'm not certain fun is the correct word for this. There's a british mystery series where the detective has AZOOR, which is a bizarre retinopathy which causes him to, among other things, fill in what isn't there--and hallucinate. I suspect one retinopathy might have characteristics similar to another.

Is it possible that one of your eyes has taken over and is skewing your depth perception. Left eye not doing its load, perhaps? (Just a thought from a non-opthamologist)

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know the depth perception trouble is because my left eye has had cataract surgery and has a synthetic lens which does not change focus, while my right eye has a cataract still in place and functions erratically, sometimes working almost normally (except for almost no peripheral vision) and sometimes not hardly working at all.

[j-cheney.livejournal.com]

Well I hope this current bout of annoyances ends soon!

[mylefteye.livejournal.com]

Oh yes, this sounds familiar. The best bit is when you're halfway across a road that seconds ago you decided was clear. Then out of the corner of your eye -- WHICH NO LONGER EXISTS, DAMMIT! -- you see a bloody great truck or bus bearing silently down on you. Then, after you've leapt six foot into the air and landed on the grass verge in a heap, you hear your brain chuckle: "Gotcha!"

I actually did this last week, jumped across the road. Usually I swear under my breath and steel myself for the impact I KNOW isn't coming.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Ah, yes, the phantom automobile. I know it well. One thing I hate is when I'm walking down the sidewalk and I have to cross a driveway into/out of a business. I'll watch carefully, but cars will still suddenly appear right in front of me.

[careswen.livejournal.com]

I have a theory on the cause for this...

Could it be that your primary sense (hearing) has told you that there's a vehicle headed your way, and your brain turns that into a visual report? I imagine this happens to you guys because you both have had to transition from using your eyes to using your ears -- so if your ears give you bad information, your brain blames your eyes.

Does that make any sense?

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Huh. I hadn't thought of that possibility.

[pjthompson]

Bless you, Michael.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[maryjdal.livejournal.com]

I can’t comprehend vision loss Michael except the annoyance of not having reading glasses handy – I do admire you very much for your strength and your humor with the hand you were dealt. Bless you.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Thanks. You just have to play the cards you're dealt, even if those cards suck sometimes. I can waste a lot of time and energy bemoaning my fate, or I can get on with life. I chose the latter.

[greykev.livejournal.com]

Sorry your brain is playing tricks on you, that really sucks.

Perhaps seeing that ghost has unlocked your latent second-sight? Though I'm not sure what a spirit-squirrel would be doing in a coffee shop, looking for hazelnuts no doubt.

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

Caffinated spirit-squirrels Ahoy!

That's kind of a scary thoght, isn't it?

[careswen.livejournal.com]

Arise, my squirrelly minions, and come unto me...

[allochthon.livejournal.com]

Eh, you just need to get some echolocation installed. I know this guy down in Brazil...

[mmerriam.livejournal.com]

*Snort* That's geat! When people ask me who I am I can say, "I am Batman. Would you like to help me fight crime today, good citizen?"

[purdypiedad.livejournal.com]

Wow. That is just extreme suckage. I do find it very inspiring though to know some of the challenges you face while you maintain an incredible sense of humor and don't let these obstacles stop you. You rock.