The Journal of Michael Merriam

So far today:

A weld around one of the recently replaced pipes to the recently replaced main water valve burst, sending water spewing into my living room.

We got drenched trying to get back to the house in a torrential rain. careswen simply could not move faster than a slow walk on her ankle, so yeah…

Trying to warm up from the drenching, tea was accidentally spilled on the upstairs carpet.

So…

Dear Water Spirit that I Seemed To Have Offended,

Yes, I know I took the naiad out of Dark Water Blues, which given the title seems like a stupid thing to do, but she just did not fit the story.

I would like to remind you that "Darkly Through the Light Waters," Old Blood's Fate, "Over the Bridge," "Rainfall," "Shades of Light and Foam," and Should We Drown in Feathered Sleep all feature water spirits in pivotal roles.

I think I've been a very good friend to water spirits in my fiction, so I'm asking you, please, cut it out.

Love,
Michael

Dear President Barack Obama,

All we ask is: Don't screw things up even more.

Hopefully Yours,
Me

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Dear Person Who Took My Recycle Bin,

Really? My recycle bin?

In Bogglement,
Your Confused and Disappointed Neighbor

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Dear Diary,

Today I dropped a bottle of ketchup, with predictable results! It was not the best day ever!

Signed,
Clumsy

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Dear Internet Slapfighters,

Perhaps it would be a good idea step away from the keyboard for a day and take a calming breath.

In Peace,
Michael

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Dear Michael's Brain,

Stop worrying about the meaningless stuff and get on with the business at hand.

Nolove,
The Meat Puppet